Esteem Them Very Highly In Love
November 2025
By: Wayne Boyer - Grace Harbor Church Member
But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord, and give you instruction, and esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. (I Thessalonians 5:12–13, NASB)
As you may know, October 13 was Pastor Appreciation Day, commonly celebrated the second Sunday in October. Is this just another day to recognize yet another profession? In my place of employment, every specialty has a day or week of recognition to celebrate its contributions. It seems in our world, everyone wants their day. Does Pastor Appreciation Day follow this pattern, or is there genuine merit celebrating and honoring pastors (elders)? Let us consider the biblical basis for routine and daily respect to our elders—a lifestyle, if you will—more than just a single day of remembrance.
The Call to Appreciate Our Elders
Because of their work, Paul exhorts us to appreciate and esteem those who have charge over us. To appreciate is to see and to know our elders. To see carries the idea of staring or gazing or examining for the purpose of gaining insight, so we turn our attention them with both our eyes and minds. We are to know our elders well enough that we develop a deep regard and love for them. To esteem them very highly in love reflects proper thinking and consideration for their roles. Paul asks the Corinthians, “If we sowed spiritual things in you, is it too much if we reap material things from you?” (I Corinthians 13:11).
Understanding Their Essential Work
But what is the work that earns such appreciation? Paul describes three things: diligent labor, oversight, and instruction.
1. Diligent Labor: This means working hard to the point of weariness or exhaustion due to toil, burdens, or grief. The work of an elder can be physically exhausting. Their work frequently involves long hours, late nights, unexpected appointments that demand attention, and perhaps missing a much needed day off as most of us expect. In fact, pastors generally work on our day off (i.e. Sunday). Paul says, the “elders who rule well are to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching” (I Timothy 5:17, NASB). He describes how in “labor and hardship” he worked “night and day” for the gospel (cf. 1 Thess. 2:9). The work of an elder can also be mentally exhausting. Among other things, they carry with them the burdens of many, which weigh heavy on their hearts as evidenced by their counsel and constant prayer for the individual members of the church body. They also carry with them the conflicts of the body—if we’re not careful, we can cause them undue grief. We want to be a source of joy to them, not a source of grief.
2. Oversight: This involves providing care, protection, and guidance. Elders keep watch over our souls (Heb. 13:17), they serve the church willingly and eagerly on behalf of Christ, and our spiritual well-being is of great importance to them. As Matthew Henry says, “their business is the welfare of men’s souls.” They share the desire of Paul, “to present every man complete in Christ” (Col. 1:28). This obligation compels us to attend the teaching of the Word and engage with the church body.
3. Instruction (admonition): This means to caution or reprove gently. “It refers not merely to academic data imparted impersonally but to instruction for the purpose of correcting and changing people. It is an element of warning, designed to direct the sheep to holy living (cf. 1 Cor. 4:14)”. While we acknowledge their limitations, in their obedient service to our Lord Jesus Christ, our elders are committed to leading us in ways consistent with Scripture, providing biblical reasoning in their guidance. We trust them to help us think and walk biblically and therefore, honor God with our lives. Without their instruction, we risk lacking “repentance leading to the knowledge of truth,” remaining dull in our senses and failing to escape the devil’s snare, being held captive by him to do his will (2 Tim. 2:25-26).
The Importance of Peace Among Us
It is no mistake these verses conclude with “Live in peace with one another,” followed by several admonitions. Any elder would love to shepherd a flock at peace. We see a pathway to peace through the following:
admonish the unruly
encourage the fainthearted
help the weak
be patient with everyone
do not repay evil for evil
seek the good of one another
rejoice always
pray without ceasing
give thanks in everything
do not quench the spirit
do not despise prophetic utterances
hold fast to that which is good
abstain from every form of evil
This list offers ample instruction for self-examination that, with the Spirit’s help, would cause us to grow in Christ and positively impact our elders.
Practical Ways to Know and Love Our Elders
Ask them how you can pray for them.
Engage them with questions about their teaching or give them feedback on how God used the teaching to impact you. Make your church attendance a meaningful act of love and support.
Regularly thank them for their sacrifices, their faithfulness, and the positive examples they set in your life.
Ask God to protect their personal time in the Word and prayer from unnecessary distractions and temptations.
Similarly, pray their preparation time in the Word and prayer remains free from interruptions.
Request that God grant them wisdom during preparation and the ability to deliver His Word accurately and confidently.
Ask God to help them endure hardships, trials, and discouragements they may face in ministry.
Pray for their humility.
Pray for their strength and health.
Pray for faithfulness in their marriage. The demands of ministry often strain personal relationships, so uplift their commitment to their spouses.
Ask that their children come to know Christ and grow in His ways. Being the child of an elder does not shield them from struggles with faith.
Prepare a meal for them. Small gestures, like providing a meal, can ease the burdens of their busy schedules and offer them family time.
Pray that you contribute positively to their lives, becoming a source of joy rather than grief.
Support the church financially.
Pray for your own humility. Acknowledge your need for submission to God’s Word and to the guidance of your elders.
Pray for God to help you identify and eliminate pride in your life, making you more receptive to instruction and community.
1 John MacArthur, New Testament Commentary on 1&2 Thessalonians (Chicago: Moody Press, 2002), 170.
A minister...a merchant of invaluable jewels.
Abraham Wright
Disclaimer: This document has been edited for grammar and structure using AI technology. Please note that no new thoughts or ideas have been introduced in the editing process; all content remains the original work of the author.
